Wednesday, March 31, 2010

Stacey - of course i talk to my plants

            I looked down at Squiggs' swollen feet and gnarled toes.  I asked him if the winter had been hard.  "No," he said, "actually, my feet never get cold.  I thought about how painful it must be for him to walk over the hot, jagged gravel we were walking over.  I knew his feet got cold in the winter.  His girlfriend showed me the bedroom slippers he wore out when it was cold.

            But I liked him anyways.  It didn't matter that he lied to me. I had lied too, and often, for years as I tried to convince myself and everyone else that "no, I never feel self-conscious when clean-shaven ladies look down at my hairy legs, " and "no, as a matter of fact, I never worry that I won't get a job because I choose not to wear a bra."

            I had lied too, and often.  And it didn't matter to me that he lied.  I liked him anyways.  His no-shoe situation was just like my no-bra situation and I felt comfortable knowing that we were fighting against the same thing.

            As he handed me the last tray of tomato plants he asked if I ever talked to my plants.  Caught off guard, I took a moment to put the tray down in the backseat of my car.  I stood back up, faced him, and said, "Well, yea, I guess I do talk to my plants."

            I lied to him because I felt like a person who would, of course, talk to her plants.  I told him about how I'd practically turned somersaults when I saw my tiny seedlings release themselves up above the soil.  How I liked to go and check on them to see their progress.  I told him about how it seemed like they were looking up specifically at me.  And how heartbroken I'd been when they drooped over on top of themselves after I transplanted them.  How responsible, how guilty I'd felt.  And the longer I talked to my barefooted friend, the more sure I was that, of course, I talk to my plants.  And now I do.

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